A Song for Whoever: Mark Henry & Cody Rhodes Edition

Sidekick Andrew: This week’s Song For Whoever can actually be about the WWE for once, as I’ve followed Boss Lady Ray’s demands and actually watched some TV this week. Admittedly it was Capitol Punishment, Superstars and Smackdown rather than Raw; I’m not going to change my habits that much…

Although this was admittedly genius

One thing that’s really come across to me in my first week back watching WWE is how much more believable Mark Henry is as a heel. While there’s always a place for a “good guy giant” type of character, Big Show is currently filling that role. Admittedly Khali has turned heel as well, but let’s face it… who cares?

On second thoughts... SWOON

From manhandling Big Show through the Spanish announce table at Capitol Punishment, to taking out Kane on Raw Henry’s been on a roll this week. Culminating with taking out Big Show again on Smackdown and winning the main event tag match later on the show, the “World’s Soggiest Man” seems to be really doing well since his weight loss and something remarkable has happened. I’ve somehow gone from dreading his appearances on screen to actually starting to think I’d like to see him have a title run.

This one’s for you Mr Henry. You’re certainly a big man, you’ve been showing you can be a bad man recently and, errrm… well… I suppose 2 out of 3 ain’t bad?

BOSS LADY RAY: Ahhhh children. So young. So precious. When they’re small all they want is to be just like you. They copy everything you do and try to emulate you because you’re mum/dad and just so cool. It’s a glorious time for all.

Look at us hoisting out children in the air! We are very happy!

As they grow, that changes. You eventually become the most uncool person in their lives. It is inevitable that at some point they’ll slam their bedroom door in your face and tell you they hate you. They don’t mean it.

If my mother wore that bloody awful scarf I'd refuse to look at her too.

The tension is multiplied if said child chooses to follow a parent into their profession. They will forever feel stressed at trying to live up to the parent’s professional expectations and climb out of their shadow. Luckily for me I faint at the sight of my own blood, so medicine was never on my agenda. I threw out the idea of being a paramedic after we drove past a man under the wheels of a van on the motorway one summer when I was in high school, and I  discounted physiotherapy when I found out it was a six-year course that began with cutting up dead people. Sorry, Dad.

The life of a second or third generation wrestler is a minefield of expectation. Those with a family legacy to live up to must surely feel pressured into being better than their relatives. An ingrained inferiority complex wouldn’t be surprising at all. This was beautifully illustrated by Daniel Bryan on this week’s Smackdown. Neither myself nor Andrew really enjoy Cody Rhodes’ current gimmick. We love the music and his titantron, but we’re just not digging the whole paper bag deal.We were discussing just this when Daniel Bryan showed up on Smackdown to put an end to Cody’s silliness with some pop psychology.  Bryan suggested that the Codester wasn’t afraid of his own ‘ugliness’ at all. He was just using it as a crutch to avoid the fact that he didn’t feel he lived up to Daddy Dusty’s legend. Give that man an honourary PhD from a mid-quality university!

I’d like to apologise for choosing this song for Cody. I am a self-confessed lover of Country music, but this is one of the most atrocious songs ever written, recorded and sold. Props go out to anyone who makes it to the end of the video without dry-heaving.