Boss Lady Ray: I was going to use this post to rant about the tedious Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Brian Lawler and Jim Ross segment on last week’s Raw. I planned on giving you a detailed précis of how very long it was. I was even going to time it to tell you exactly how many minutes were wasted on Michael Cole’s abominable dancing; if he was actually dancing at all. There’s a chance he was having an epileptic fit and nobody noticed. This might have lead nicely on to an analysis of how much actual wrestling there was on Raw last week. I might even have mentioned the WWE executive who suggested that the WWE isn’t a wrestling company and what that meant for the company’s output.
Then I felt a blush of embarrassment rising up my face like a greenhouse thermometer on a scorching day. This is the almost completed Road to Wrestlemania. It’s silly season. Who really cares that the announce team are having a match? Let the baby have its bottle. Give the dog a bone. Let the nut see the cracker (thanks, Paddy McGuinness). Jerry Lawler has been a servant of the business for decades, let him have a Wrestlemania match. Much as I hate to admit it, Michael Cole does a sterling job of being the guy everyone wants to punch in the gob. Any time you can involve Jim Ross in a storyline it at least give the die-hard smarks something to crow about and I had conveniently forgotten that Lawler and Cole’s Wrestlemania match is to be refereed by one Stone Cold Steve Austin. Stone Cold, the legend. Stone Cold, who hosts the next big WWE project – Tough Enough. Tough Enough, which starts in the same week as Wrestlemania and needs a little plugging.
I’m forever telling wrestling fans to lighten up, to not take it too seriously, to remember it’s just entertainment and not life and death, to keep in mind that everything WWE does is ultimately about plumping up the bank balance and that it isn’t going to please all the people all the time. Sometimes I forget to take my own advice. Being an objective fan of wrestling isn’t all that simple but, at the risk of making each and every one of you vomit over your laptops, with all the very serious things going on in the world at the moment, just repeat after me: “meh, it’s just wrestling.”
This song is dedicated to myself and all the other moaners, groaners, whingers, grumblers and complainers.* (It’s audio instead of video this week. YouTube was being unkind to me.)
*Disclaimer: I reserve the right to moan, groan, whinge, grumble and complain in the future. I’m only human.
Sidekick Andrew: Yeah, I’m not doing one this week… got a problem with that?
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