Something happened to me a few months ago and I just have to share it with someone, Diary. I lost my King of Trios virginity and it was AMAZING!

When I met WWE, I was just a kid. I was seduced by its bad-boy attitude and dazzling good looks. In fact, back then it was called WWF, but it ran into som

e trouble with the law and had to assume a less contentious identity. It was loud, offensive and I fell in deep, passionate love. Over the years, we had an on-off relationship. We shared some wonderful moments, but there were also times where I wondered why I was wasting my time with this loser. Things got so bad at one point that we broke up. I swore off wrestling altogether. But 2007 rolled around, Triple H made a memorable, heart-stopping return from injury at Summerslam and we were back together, snuggly as we were at the beginning, but with a little more wisdom on my part.

Another few years ticked by and we drifted into the comfort of always knowing the other would be there, no matter how much effort we made (or didn’t make). But then, Diary, I met CHIKARA. It was a somewhat accidental meeting, but one which has lead to intense happiness. We didn’t understand each other at first. Where were the bright flashing lights and huge arena screens? Come to think of it, where were the huge arenas? To put it mildly, I wasn’t entirely sure there were enough fireworks between us for anything to happen. Not long-term, anyway.

The storylines seemed bizarre and…well….. STRANGE!

This new way of doing things was intriguing and the more I learnt, the more I wanted to know. What a geek this CHIKARA was. But geeks are cool, right? All I had to do was give in to my inner geek and I was smitten. Before I knew it I was wearing CHIKARA’s t-shirts to bed and begging to know every tiny detail of its past. We could only see each other sporadically, so we figured we’d meet up every few weeks, have some fun, then just look forward to the next date. Times were good.
But CHIKARA had something new to teach me. Something different to introduce me to…..King of Trios! I was apprehensive. Singles matches, easy. Couples, no problem. But three in a team? Three nights in a row? So many threes? Hmm. I won’t lie, Diary, I was a little daunted. I mean, sure, I had the stamina, but CHIKARA promised me we’d take it slowly…. one match at a time, one move at a time. I was in love. How could I say no?

Did we go slowly? Did we hell! The first night was something of a blur and went by so quickly I’m not sure I I fully absorbed what happened. Thank God Sara Del Rey made me laugh toward the beginning to break the tension. The welcoming faces of the CHIKARA regulars certainly helped. I gripped tightly to the stuff I was familiar with to ease me in while I navigated the new and strange world of female referees, the Japanese boys and Mexican midgets dressed as butterflies. It seemed a little wrong, yet, I loved it. Like REALLY loved it. It was way too fast for me to keep up with and in places I had to idea what was going on. But I wanted more and as soon as possible.

The second night was a little easier to follow. I knew what I was letting myself in for and with half the number of trios competing, the pace was more manageable for my novice self. The three-on-three action was punctuated with Brodie Lee’s leisurely open challenge, a jaunty Christopher Daniels vs Hallowicked match and a couple of Rey de Voladores qualifying matches. My poor Spanish skills meant that I translated that as something akin to swinging from the chandeliers, which sounded mildly terrifying and yet very intriguing. There was no need to worry though. I got the hang of it pretty quickly and my penchant for jumps and kicks was beyond satisfied. Diary, I almost was annoyed that I’d spent so many years without knowing it existed.

Night two did bring about something of a conflict though. The Bruderschaft were taking on Team Perros De Mal and I was torn between  lavishing attention on the cute ones and the bad guys. You know what it’s like, Diary. You know the cutesy ones not afraid to show their feminine side are the best option, yet when some big, angry Claudio Castagnoli type starts flex-bumping in front of you, common sense flies out the window.  Sweet as Team Nursery Rhyme were, you can’t beat this. You can’t beat it in any way:

By the third night I was a King of Trios pro. I was enjoying it so much I just wanted to tell everyone else how great it was. Everything started falling into place. The Bruderschaft and my now-beloved Colony eliminated all traces of Japanese competitors, Hallowicked and Frightmare sent a whole gauntlet of people to have a nap in Sleepy Hollow, Eddie Kingston shared the ring with Tommy Dreamer, the boss-fella won and Ophidian became King of the Chandelier Swingers. If that final King of Trios match were to happen now, I’d be in quite a state. I love my Ants dearly. But it is something of a new romance. During KoT I was all about Castagnoli and……OK we’ve already covered him earlier. It was an easy explosion of happiness when this moment ended three nights of new and exciting competition:

Thanks for listening, Diary. I feel so much better now I’ve shared this with someone. Of course, CHIKARA and I have been spending time together for quite a while now, so it all feels like a long time ago. But it’s still nice to share. Now CHIKARA wants to introduce me to something called the Baby Lion Cubs or something? Don’t know what that is. Is it something like this maybe?

I certainly hope so. As soon as I’ve experienced it, I’ll tell you all the juicy details, Diary. Promise.






N.B. In the hope that this post has inspired you to watch King of Trios 2010 or any other CHIKARA show, DVDs can be purchased from Smart Mark Video.


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