raw(lite): dropping like flies

I made the executive decision to skip last week’s Raw recap. This was partly down to the fact that I was on holiday, partly down to the fact that I wanted to write that huge fashion post I’d had floating around for a while, but mainly because the episode was so very dull. It wasn’t even the usual car-cash TV that is Raw. It was just boring. So I skipped. I’ll stop writing in sentence fragments now. Maybe. The good news is that the proceeding episode was far more engaging, so here lies your latest Raw recap.

As you know, Team WWE (lead by John Cena) are taking on the Nexus at Summerslam. On the previous week’s show, cracks started to form in Cena’s team, in this episode the cracks became gaping chasms. Edge, never one to hold his tongue when aggravated, was the first to tug on the loosely tacked seams holding them together. He was fed up with being under Cena’s watchful eye and decided to offer to end the Nexus nonsense by beating Wade Barrett. Not only that, he wanted to do it alone, with no help from any of his teammates. Cue teammate………

To begin with, Truth’s logic on why Edge should hold tightly to his spot in the Summerslam match seemed clear, and it’s not often I can say I completely get R-Truth’s gist. He was right, the situation is bigger than Barrett. But then he went on to say that they were fighting for what they love to do, their lifestyle, their friends, their families and the WWE Universe. OK, I’m not entirely sure Truth’s got the right end of the stick regarding Nexus’ mission statement. I’m pretty sure nobody in Nexus wants to see WWE Superstars travel to shows in any less style than they already do, for example. Let’s be honest, the excessive number of tweets about sitting on terrible domestic flights can’t possibly become even more frequent, can it?

In short, Truth thought Edge should pull his head out of his arse, but the still anonymous GM decided to let Edge have his match with Barrett anyway. It’s Edge and Wade and they were given several minutes to work the match, so it ran along very well, until the rest of Nexus showed up to chase Edge away. He, like the turncoat he almost always is, ran backstage to ask why Cena & Co didn’t come to his rescue. John reminded Edge that he had specifically asked to be left alone, then Edge quit the team. Bad times. And just as one Canadian fly dropped, so did another.

Jericho wanted Cena to step down and leave the business of defeating Nexus to the rest of them. He didn’t, but agreed to fight Jericho later that night, with the loser quitting the team. The in-fighting didn’t stop there. Newly hirsute John Morrison squabbled backstage with the Great Khali, then some Nexus kids tried to recruit Khali. Again. WHY? Seriously!

From here we went to a Divas 6-woman tag match, where Natalya, Eve and Gail Kim faced off against Tamina, Jillian and Alicia Fox. As Divas matches go it was brief as ever, but at least Natalya and Tamina got to squeeze in a few moves, which is always pleasing. Even more pleasing than that was that, as Alica won the match and bad-mouthed every Diva in sight with more staccato than at The Proms, an old friend appeared to quieten the words jutting from Alicia’s mouth.

She also did an impressive bridging evasion, which made me long for yoga class again. Melina certainly isn’t the best wrestler in the company. She wasn’t even the best wrestler out in the arena that night, but the Raw Divas division needed a boot up the bum and they’ve got one. Huzzah!

Sheamus flexed his metaphorical muscles for Randy Orton by beating the crap out of Goldust, which is kind of like proving to a wolf you’re really tough by kicking a puppy. Still, it filled a hole before we moved on to see whether Chris Jericho or John Cena would be the next bod to bid farewell to Team WWE. They had a solid match, during which there were so many signatures and finishers I didn’t know where to look. Eventually, John reversed the Walls of Jericho to apply the STF, but before he could even lock it on nice and tight, Jericho tapped out and exited the ring. It seems he’d just had enough of all this nonsense and wanted out. Fair enough. John made one last attempt at persuading him to stick around:

Backstage, Edge & Jericho put their differences aside and shared an embrace before they were informed that they were to face John Cena and Bret Hart in a tag match the following week. (i.e. Edge & Jericho vs John Cena in a handicap match). Oh and the Nexus will be lumberjacks. This announcement was proceeded by Ted DiBiase getting his head crushed at the hands of the Great Khali, all made possible by the arrival of Wade Barrett Skip Sheffield.

Attractive.

The Miz and Randy Orton had a match to allow Randy his chance to show off. He won, making it mission accomplished. Sheamus watched the entire thing from the ramp, then there was much scowling and growling.

Scowling....

.....and growling (like you couldn't figure that out).

Game on!

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