nxt ep 5: soldiering on and other talking heads

So… NXT. Last week saw the dreaded return of the Keg Carry competition, this week: the Talk the Talk Challenge returned. I’ve a horrible feeling I’m going to be entering my miserable mid-series malaise again soon; the challenges have come around far too early this time and if they start drinking pop and juggling next week then it may be too much to bear…

Now, as it happens, this episode was broadcast on my birthday, and as a special treat Matt Striker was back to open the show, and he was looking pretty overjoyed by the fact that I’m now the same age as him again (those 10 days make all the difference, old man!)

Cheers Matt. You're a star

After the usual introductions of the Pros and Rookies, and the usual bout of “Good God, why did we give John Morrison a microphone again? He’s terrible!” Striker introduced the aforementioned Talk the Talk Challenge. The prize for the winner – their very own talk show on next weeks episode. Because that has to go well doesn’t it? What was the last regular talk show the WWE ran with?

Actually, while I think – it’s just occurred to me that with his white shirt, pink waistcoat and lithe, muscular frame *swoon* Matt Striker reminds me of someone. Someone I haven’t seen on TV for a long time. Like Striker, he was a fair and just man, with the power to fight off the forces of evil when necessary. And sure, he may look a little geeky in his slightly effeminate clothing and perfect coiffured hair, but underneath that pink waistcoat is a muscular warrior, just waiting to be unleashed…

Trust me, if he starts coming to the ring with a talking green tiger, you'll be impressed

As last year, the Talk the Talk Challenge was geared towards the winner they wanted – something evident in the “random” topics given to the Rookies.

They gave him glasses. The guy whose gimmick is wearing glasses was given glasses to talk about. Ironically, his glasses don't even have glass in them!

Chicken? Yeah, that's the expression I would have had too Kaval.

Eli went on a rant about how he was the only one "man" enough to grow a moustache and promised he would have one next week. Stay tuned folks!

Seriously, this isn't just a crappy screencap. Even the WWE don't know how to spell his name so they just didn't bother

Oh Matthew... you really are pushing it. The way you emphasised the second sylabble while staring straight at him? This isn't going to end in a handshake is it?

Best keep "Mum" Lucky, or you might get the "Axe"! Yep, a transatlantic deodorant pun!

"There's a lot of animals out there that I've come in..."

OK, so Alex Riley did finish that sentence with “…contact with in my life” but it really was an awkward time to pause. The WWE Universe, or at least the localised nebula in the arena, then voted for the winner – and given just how over Percy Watson seems to be with the crowd, and that he had a topic suited to him, it should be no surprise to find that he was the winner.

Now, I’m hoping that Percy’s talk show does well because he’s growing on me. I also hope that they have him write the questions on hyperbolic paraboloid shaped snacks and call the segment “Percy’s Pringles”. But most of all, I hope that none of you follow my twitter feed and realise that I made the same joke on there yesterday.

On to some wrestling now, but as it was Michael McThrillerMuddy vs Percy Watson all you need to know is that Michael won the match. Well, let’s face it, you don’t read the recaps on this blog to actually get in-depth move-by-move accounts and match details do you?

It's true, Vince is up most nights until 3 or 4am watching cats play piano

Next up, The Miz vs Kaval – a pretty good match albeit a glorified squash. The Miz basically had all the offence apart from a brief flurry from Kaval, including a really nice pin to Warriors Way double stomp


Main event time (ignoring the Raw recap which was frankly far inferior to anything Ray came up with) and a fairly dull tag match between Mark Henry/Lucky Cannon and “Dashing” Cody Rhodes/Husky Harris. Rhodes & Harris got the win and that was that. Excitingly though, this weeks has a few elements which might make it a slightly better episode.

First of all The Nexus are returning to NXT – how they’ll interact with the new Rookies remains to me seen, but other than the unfortunate blip of Bryan Danielson going astray, this storyline has been pretty impressive – so that’s something to look forward to.

Secondly, “Percy’s Pringles” – the snack based talk show paying tribute to Paul Bearer should be, at the very least, entertaining. And thirdly: