[Never let it be said that we here at Wrestlegasm.com are not a forum for discussion. After my (allegedly) interminable and indefensible insulting insinuations regarding the talent and appeal of a certain member of the Smackdown roster, we received an email from a reader named Brandi asking for a chance to challenge my opinion. While I would have happily deleted said email and continued to criticise him at my leisure, unfortunately the “Boss” in Boss Lady Ray isn’t simply an honorofic and she demanded that we allow Brandi her right of reply – Andrew]
I first saw Matthew Moore Hardy in 5th Grade when he broked into Raw and attacked Edge backstage for fooling around with his skank Lita and I was instantly in love. Matt looked so hot and dangerous and that was it, why did Lita pick stupid Edge over Matt anyway she must be stupid.
Matt was in a team with his baby brother Jeffrey “Jeff” Nero Hardy AKA The Charismatic Enigma AKA Team Xtreme and they were the best tag team of ever all time winning Tag Team Titles and they used to have Lita in their team but they got rid of her because she was a ho and wanted to marry Kane and have his baby!
Anyway she didn’t have his baby because of Snitsky but it WASN’T HIS FAULT – LOL!!! so she went with Edge and was even more of a ho so Matt came back and hit him and I saw that as I said at the beginning. Matt also was Matt Hardy: V1 which is short for Hatt Hardy: Version 1 which is a computer reference I learnt and when he was Matt Hardy: V1 he was followed by Shannon Moore who was the Prince of Punk and is in Total Nonstop Action Wrestling now.
When he was Matt Hardy: Version 1 he also did a lot of Matt Facts so all of the fans that he called followers of Mattitude could know even more about our idol. These Matt Facts were like Matt Hardy’s bedtime is 4 am Matt likes english muffins (Layla LOL!!!) Matt only drinks lowfat chocolate milk Matt Strongly Dislikes Mustard Matt’s pants are a size 34 in the waist Matt is miserable when dieting Matt sleeps in the nude (ZOMG!!!) Matt lost his virginity at age 17 (I’m 17!) Matt occasionally cheats on his diet. There are too many to type here (my wrists are sore now ROFL) but they are all at Ron’s WWE Site here .
Here are some handy hints that I read when I wanted to be a better Hardy fan
1. Learn about Jeff and Matt Hardy. You can’t be a true fan if you don’t know who they are. In addition to Wikipedia you can search with Google for more information on them. Always be safe on the Internet. (Good advice, the internet is dangerous with pedos and terrorists and there is lots of information about Matthew and Jeff although I have told you all the good things now – LOL!!!)
2. Convince your friends that they are the best. (Like I am doing now with you guyz LOL!!!)
3. Read all the books on them even if you don’t like reading because if you are really their fans it won’t matter if you don’t like to read it’s on them and there life so it should interest you. (I *hate* reading sooooo much but I read The Hardy Boys: Exist 2 Inspire in one go and it is dedicated to our mother in heaven and our father on earth because their mom is dead 😦 but their dad is alive)
If you follow these facts and watch all of Matt’s videos for his fans on youtube and follow all his tweets on TWITTER.COM/MATTHARDYBRAND and reply to him with drawings of him you can be a big Hardy fan (but not as big as me LOL!!!)
In the words of the Sensei of Mattitude, the Angelic Diablo, Matthew Moore Hardy thank you so very much for reading and thank you to Ray for letting me say how much I love Matt Hardy and screw you to Andrew for being so stupid and not seeing how awesome he is