smackdown(lite): a very impressionable girl

Despite promising he’d be away recovering from injury for some time, last week’s Smackdown started with the arrival of Matt Hardy to the ring. He was miffed about the tirade of abuse being thrown at him courtesy of Drew McIntyre. Matt’s complaining didn’t last long. Drew showed up in a very smart suit to shut him up.  Matt dared him to do so and ….. errrr….. he did. In royal style.  In fact, he gave Matt such a thrashing that he had to pulled off him a total of seven times by a gaggle (real wrestling term) of referees and WWE Hall of Famers in civilian clothes. Observe:

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That last one was where Teddy Long informed Drew that he’d not only been stripped of his IC title, but also FIRED! Something tells me Mr. McMahon might have something to say about this. Have no fear, McIntyre fans, he’s just keeping it on the D/L to have a honeymoon break with his new bride, Tiffany. His release is about as real as Bryan Danielson’s sacking. Dry your eyes, people.

Moving on to an actual match, Luke Gallows fought MVP with his hairy boss and Serena at his side. It was a rather fine match, moving along nicely until it all got a bit chaotic. Serena distracted MVP, then Punk was attacked by Rey Mysterio, who dashed in from the crowd to give him a smack round the head. MVP eventually won the match but Punk was FURIOUS!

Angry chin.

After much chatter back and forth, Punk & Rey decided to have another match to end all this silliness at Over the Limit. Again, there had to be something on the line to make it more interesting and, again, Punk’s hair was for the chop while Rey’s freedom to live a toxic life was put in jeopardy on the other side.

On to the Divas and it was the cutest little tag team against the meanest little girls in the playground.

Despite everyone’s post-draft “Ugggg! Kelly’s on Smackdown now!” venom, she and Tiffany did very nicely against Team LayCool. They didn’t win, but they tried their little socks off. I’d tell you more about the match, but I was so crushed about Matt Striker exclaiming that he prefers older women that I cried through the whole thing.

Oh well. I probably shouldn't be canoodling with my mentor anyway.

SIDENOTE: Last week I dreamt that I was working on the WWE commentary team. I took everyone to a Stereophonics gig, met the band, then after a brief period where I’m not sure what happened, I found myself drinking neat Scotch with Matt Striker in his apartment. It was fantastic!

With Drew McIntyre given permission to lie around on a beach with his missus for a couple of weeks and the IC title without a waist to wrap itself around, Teddy Long had to find a way of passing it on to a new bod. With this in mind he arranged two matches; Kofi Kingston vs Dolph Ziggler and Christian vs Cody Rhodes. Kofi and Dolph were up first and, unsurprisingly, Kofi took it. But not before having an awesome match with Dolph. Seriously, just when I thought it had to be over, someone kicked out again. To quote a member of the crowd……

The same could be said for the Christian vs Cody match, which was also mega entertaining and much longer than expected. Christian took it after putting the Killswitch Engage on the Codester, but it genuinely could have gone either way. Who knew Cody could wrestle? This week Kofi and Christian face off for the Intercontinental title. Dolph and Cody will likely go up against each other as the heely No1 Contender, then we’ll have defence of the title at Over the Limit.

From here we went to our World Heavyweight Champion, Jack Swagger, who was still going on about how especially successful he is. YAWN! But he was soon interrupted by Kane, who fancied a bit of a rumble. If Sidekick Andrew’s theory is correct, Kane pyro at the beginning of a match means the Big Red Monster’s destined to lose. We’ll see how that works out. So they started having their match, but then THEY were interrupted by Big Show, who looked rather dapper in a very  snappy suit.  Way smarter than Drew McIntyre’s threads!

Show was there to join Striker and Grisham on commentary and he made a fabulous job of it. Although, nothing made my heart smile more than Matt Striker addressing Show as ‘sir’ at every possible opportunity. Matt makes me do that for him in our Wrestlegasm staff meetings. Kane went on to win the match as the result of a DQ, so that proves Andrew’s theory incorrect. Kind of.

While Swagger was shoving his title belt in Big Show’s face, Kane made it back to his feet and started pummeling the champ. Swagger managed to swing things his way again, well, until Show chokeslammed him through the announce table. Then everyone cheered at this……

Right there it occurred to me just how susceptible I am to wrestling turns. A few weeks ago I was booing Big Show as he strutted around like a giant, snarling  peacock with The Miz. Just a few giant punches in the faces of some bad guys later and I’m fully on board with Nice-Guy Showy. I am indeed a very impressionable girl.

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2 thoughts on “smackdown(lite): a very impressionable girl

  1. Well, it IS wrestling. Where people can blow up his opponent and not be jailed for the rest of their life.

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