cool britannia week: part five

….otherwise known as smackdown(lite): lighter than a lead balloon

It’s been a mental week in the WWE. We held the Raw roster hostage in the UK thanks to a cloud of volcanic ash, Raw was invaded by Smackdown and a whole load of wrestlers were wished well in their future endeavours.Crikey! I’ll deal with all those things over the weekend, leading up to Extreme Rules on Sunday. But first, let’s briefly roll back to last Friday when all was well with the world and Smackdown was at the O² Arena in London. Due to time constraints and real life getting in the way, this recap will have to be brief. I’ll repay you with two longer recaps over the weekend.

  • Teddy Long announced that Jack Swagger would defend his World Heavyweight Championship against both Jericho and Edge in a Triple Threat match later that night. It went down like……

  • An overly shiny Scot insulted a crowd of Londoners, then Kane came out to defend their honour. McIntyre got scared half way through the match and tried to leave. Then Matt Hardy threw him back in the ring, then Kane chokeslammed them both.

  • Dolph Ziggler came out to humbly and sincerely apologise to Josh Matthews for suffocating him the previous week. He meant it. From the bottom of his heart and with all his soul. Look how sincere he appeared.

R-Truth tried to break Dolph’s mirage of a heart by beating him in a match, but Dolph just broke Truth’s neck instead.

  • The now departed Mickie James had a match against Michelle McCool, with Layla and Vickie at ringside. It was great, even though Michelle won. Of course, this was all a vehicle to bring Beth Phoenix out to help the wounded Mickie. Beth chased the baddies into the crowd. I can’t decide whether I loved Layla or Beth more during this segment. Layla’s pink Ugg boots might have tipped it.

  • The SES fought The Hart Dynasty + Rey Mysterio in a three-man tag. Natalya vs Serena feud soon? Pleeease? Hart Dynasty won when DH Smith poweslammed Punk into oblivion. The real gem of this match though was Miz doing tag-team commentary with Matt Striker, verbally pummeling Todd Grisham throughout. It was a symphony to my ears.

  • Caylen Croft was beaten by JTG in their match, but Shad Gaspard was hanging around waiting to cause his former partner some pain. All I can remember about it is JTG shouting a lot while swooshing his lady’s hair-do around.

  • Jericho, Edge and Swagger had a fantastic match three-way match, with lots of this business.

But Swagger managed to hold on to his waist bling for another week.

More extensive recaps over the weekend!

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