cool britannia week: part two

Twitter rumours started circling on Monday that The Miz would be on yesterday’s episode of Blue Peter and, guess what, it turned out to be true! As this blog is read by people from all over the world, I should explain the British institution that is Blue Peter. It’s a magazine-type TV show for children which has been running since 1958. The presenters cook, they go on global adventures, they make things out of milk cartons, they present factual reports, they launch charity appeals etc. Special people are given a Blue Peter badge, which is very difficult to come by. Truth be told, every kid secretly wanted a Blue Peter badge. I know I did. Actually, I still do. One day, one day. Anyway, it’s good wholesome fun which no parent could possibly object to their children watching.

If the WWE wanted to send a wrestler to appear on Blue Peter, you’d think they might send an Evan Bourne type. In fact, Evan Bourne is so cutesy, he could actually be a Blue Peter presenter. He’s clean-cut, friendly and isn’t afraid of heights. Perfect. But to add a touch of dynamite to the show, WWE sent The Miz along. I wondered how he’d come across. Would he be The Miz we all know on Raw, verbally battering anyone who crosses his path? Would he be grumpy that he’d been sent to appear on kids TV? Would he break character and be Mr. Nice? I was intrigued, so at 4:35pm I turned to BBC1 to gauge just how Mizzy he’d actually be.

Yep, he was a total pro and I may have swooned a little. Every time he came on the screen I was inexplicably excited. I’m far too old for all this nonsense, but there was something wonderful about my childhood and my adult obsession coming together in one show. Miz started off by gloating about his newly acquired Blue Peter badge:

That badge means he can get into the special dinosaur room at the Natural History Museum for FREE! Lucky sod!

After being welcomed to the show by one of the overly familiar pets:

Miz went on to give the boys, Joel and Andy, a lesson in trash talk. It went a little something like:

Then the show cut to a report on the production of marmalade.

On returning to the studio, Miz was asked to do a little commentary for the boys’ thumb war:

Then we went to one of the best things I’ve seen on TV in some time. The lady of the group, Helen, didn’t take to The Miz quite as well as the guys had. She had the difficult talk of making a thumb war ring out of a pizza box. Classic BP! It started well. Miz followed Helen’s instructions and handled his first sticky-back plastic like a professional.

Unfortunately, it all started falling apart when he started taking the piss and suggested that he was doing a better job of the craft project than she was. She told him to behave himself, to which he responded along the lines of “Don’t you boss me around. I’m a WWE Superstar! I boss people around here, missy!” She replied with“Hey! It’s my make-area, mate!” Uh-oh. I sense tension. The banter continued with Miz behaving like a child; refusing to pay attention and move on when instructed.

Helen screwed up her ring-ropes made of string and Miz took it upon himself to point and laugh. She was not impressed!

She also declared that she wanted 'this American' removed from her make-area. Thems fightin' words!

I feel this display was actually an insight into how Miz picks up girls. Helen was having none of it and punished him by playing in the ring with action figures that weren’t his own.

The lady has the last laugh.

PS—–> There’s no advertising or product placement allowed on the BBC, Miz. We Brits have to purchase a licence to watch television. You should not have said the word ‘Mattel’. Very sneaky.

That was the last we saw of the Miz. This segment was followed by a report on roller derby and an appearance from ditsy pop starlet Diana Vickers. Joel and Andy probably took him out for a beer afterwards. I don’t think Helen will be welcoming his back any time soon.

Love you, Miz! MWAH!

Update: This segment is now available on YouTube, so if you’re outside the UK and don’t have access to the BBC iPlayer, you can watch it here. You’re welcome!

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7 thoughts on “cool britannia week: part two

  1. Simon and I just watched the make bit and I can safely say it’s one of the funniest wrestling-related things I’ve ever seen. I particularly liked when he laughed at the ropes breaking!
    PS When did Blue Peter get cool? It was always bit nancy when we were young!

    • I KNOW! It’s well trendy nowadays. I might start watching it on a regular basis. Maybe.

      It was a fab segment, wasn’t it? There were moments where Helen flashed looks to the camera like ‘can this just be over, please?’. Bless her. Miz was lush.

    • They don’t need to explain the difference, as every British schoolchild is still taught that a marmalade is a preserve made from citrus fruit, as opposed to a jam which is made more usually from a berry fruit. Having said that, the word “marmalade” actually comes (via the French “marmelade”) from the Portuguese “marmelada” (the root of which, as I’m sure you’re aware, is “marmelo” or “quince” – which is, of course, not a citrus fruit).

      I like marmalade…

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