nxt episode 3: crushcrushcrush

Before we go any further, I would like to apologise in advance as this will be shorter and much less impressive than you may expect or be used to (please, feel free to add your own joke here.) I’m feeling a bit tired, and also this weeks episode didn’t seem to have as much going on as the previous two. That’s not to say it was a bad episode by any means, it just had a lot to live up to.

After a video recap of last week’s show, neatly reminding us of the Ortunga/Truth scuffle, we had our opening match. Ortunga & R-Truth vs The Miz and Daniel Bryan – two teams that have had problems over the last week, famously culminating in R-Truth not letting him watch CBeebies because he got his best Versace pants dirty or something (there was probably some dog kicking involved too.) As it happens, the WWE seem to have forgotten about the fight as they’re now getting along fine.  Bryan and Miz on the other hand not so much:

Quick point, after introducing the Twitter accounts last week, this week they’ve gone one better and added the official Twitter logo. Not sure where this will end up, but hopefully @MATTHARDYBRAND will be restricted to communicating in 140 characters or less from now on. Before the match started Miz gave Bryan a little pep-talk, letting him know that if Bryan was pinned in their match then Miz would ensure he was thrown off NXT. “Get it? Got it? Good…”

Another good showing from Bryan and Miz, albeit a losing one. Bryan did most of the work, including a vicious looking “missile dropkick”, followed by a heel hook. Ortunga was close to tapping (given that his alternative was apparently “snapping”) until The Miz tagged himself in and, after slapping Bryan once again, promptly lost the match.

Understandably this led to more arguments between Miz and Bryan, leading to:

That’s two for flinching…

After this match, in a surprisingly shameful and suspect scheme to up viewing figures and, coincidentally, traffic to this esteemed blog, we were “treated” to the sight of Kelly Kelly reviving her old Extreme Expose routine. This swiftly escalated into an impromptu strip show, leaving Kelly Kelly with no clothes on, or to put it another way: “Kelly Kelly naked”

That never happens, I guess I’m dreaming again

Seriously, whoever it is that keeps searching for Kelly Kelly No Clothes on Google and ending up here – you’re wasting your time. But you have the internet, and if you’re that desperate to see generic blonde, slightly comatose looking, WWE-related nudity; may I suggest Tiffany? Protip: try searching for Taryn Terrell, but don’t forget to turn SafeSearch off kids!

Next up, Heath Slater (who I still don’t care for) was up against Carlito (who I still don’t care for) – looking to gain revenge for the tragic “Episode 2 Apple Incident” or the “Big Apple Take Down” as nobody is calling it. Slater was accompanied by Christian, whereas Carlito was accompanied by Daniel Tarver. Sorry? “Who’s Daniel Tarver” you ask? Please… you remember him, he was briefly involved in a week one tag match? Mr 1.9 seconds? Look, he has his own t-shirt so he’s already the best at merchandise…

As you may have guessed, I’m not the biggest fan of either guy in this match, and as such I found it hard to really enjoy this match. Slater won, therefore making history as the first rookie to beat a pro in a one on one match. On the positive side, Ray deemed to grace me with her presence in my humble corner of the Wrestle Bunker to inform me she liked Christian’s outfit.

The Main Event brought us Wade Barrett vs Justin Gabriel, accompanied by Chris Jericho (yay!) and Matt Hardy (nay!) respectively.  Interesting fact brought up tonight: Justin Gabriel’s dad and grandad were wrestlers. His dad performed as the Pink Panther, which would make Justin:

This was a good match, and if Gabriel can avoid being tainted by association with Hardy, these two could easily win this show. Gabriel sensibly wasn’t wearing his Jas Mann/Babylon Zoo outfit, however he did seem to think that a single garter belt was suitable accessorising. Other than his disastrous dress sense (that I will let Ray talk about) he is a pretty good wrestler, and he looks good. Barrett on the other hand is a pretty good brawler, and he’s huge. Seriously, I hadn’t noticed before but look:

The best person in this match though was Jericho. I can only hope that when the time comes for Jericho to stop wrestling he becomes a manager, because there’s nobody doing a better job of it than him at the moment. Continuing a trend he started whilst with Big Show, Jericho berated the commentators through the match:

Jericho – “Barrett’s like a machine! That’s my influence!”
Cole – “Why don’t you just join us on commentary?”
Jericho – “Maybe I should!”

Another highlight was the crowd chanting “USA! USA!” in a match between an Englishman and a South African… Anyway, perhaps predictably, after being beaten through the entire match Gabriel somehow pulled out another 450 and got the win. But it was a happy ending as Jericho then attacked Hardy and Gabriel, sending us out on a high note…