It’s been a very long time since I last wrote one of these. In fact, the last one wasn’t even written by me. It was a guest post written by LOL, Wresslin’. It’s time to tentatively peek into the search terms stored in my blog stats and hope I don’t see anything I want to report to the authorities.

First of all, I’m super pleased to see that people are searching for Barri Griffiths related items; and by that I mean, people who aren’t me. Remember where you heard about how great he is first, kids. Also, I don’t know who keeps searching for Kelly² sans clothing, but seriously, 26 times in one day? I think you have a little too much time on your hands. And a sore wrist.  Let’s see which weirdness has hurt my eyeballs during recent weeks.

This is a tricky one. Is this person searching for an overdeveloped chicken who wrestles for a living? Seems kind of illegal to me. I’m pretty sure cock-fighting was outlawed a long time ago and I’m not convinced there’s an audience for it.Then again, I’m a sucker for some funky entrance music, an awesome ringwalk and a brightly coloured outfit. So you never know, maybe chicken wrestling could catch on.

Imagine this dude with a Zack Ryder headband and bobbing his head to Ohhhh radioooo, tell me ev-ry-thing you knoooow. Could work.

My other theory is that maybe they incorrectly spelt mussel as muscle and they were actually looking for pictures of shellfish wrestling a chicken. But that can’t be right. Surely that would be an uneven match.

The mussel wouldn’t stand a chance against a chicken. I mean, all the chicken would have to do is peck through that bluey shell and kill the mussel. Also, chuck a bit of garlic butter on top, delicious snack for the chicken. Then again, since when did uneven matches bother wrestling bookers?

Either way, I’m concerned for the welfare of our feathered and rock-pool dwelling friends. I’ll give the RSPCA a buzz to put my mind at ease.

Hmm. Another curious one. How exactly might one go about giving laziness the 619? Laziness is rather, well, LAZY! Persuading it to get out of bed, have a shave and catch the bus down to the wrestling arena might prove to be quite a chore. Unless, of course, you were able to get in touch with this bloke and send a taxi for him.

But even then, would hanging on to the ropes, jumping into an aerial horizontal position and swinging through the ropes until you kick him in the face really boost your life? I think not. Try a seminar on how to harness your inner potential instead. Or possibly listening to some showtunes. Works for me.

Well, that’s very presumptuous of you. Just because a man chooses to wear a platinum-blonde wig, a fluffy feather boa, the tightest gold body-suit  imaginable and make-up to die for, it doesn’t mean that he’s of homosexual persuasion.

Totally acceptable attire.

Think about it, Alex Reid is a cage fighter and dresses like a lady, and he just married Katie Price.

Katie Price pictured centre. Her husband is pictured far left. Really. He's also a cagefighter. Really.

Camp doesn’t always equal gay. It’s theatre, darling! And Goldust is FABULOUS!

I can’t actually see how these words lead this searcher to wrestlegasm.com.  I can only assume it has something to do with Drew McIntyre and when the wardrobe department were having trouble deciding just how many bedazzled Scottish flags they could glue-gun onto a shower curtain. But I’m not sure where the painting of flags on women’s bodies comes in. You may have noticed that I’m an especially patriotic girl. I love being Welsh. If my country required me to paint myself, I’d do it without question and I’d presume that Welsh men would find it a turn-on, at least on days when Wales were playing rugby anyway. I certainly enjoyed when TV presenter Gethin Jones painted a Welsh rugby shirt on himself.

So I say this, if you’re a Scottish gentleman who likes his women to wear their patriotism on their skin, good for you. And good luck in finding that mate for life.

You're welcome.

Ummm, yeah, that might have been me.

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