smackdown(lite): let’s get ready to rumble – part 2

…..and now to Smackdown.

DX came out. Then Rey Mysterio came out to blister Shawn about his claims that he’ll be fighting Undertaker at Wrestlemania 26. There was a bunch of verbal fisticuffs:

Then the now-named ‘Straight Edge Society’ came out to put their 2-cents in. The Straight Edge Society now includes a bald girl with large bosoms. Obviously not going back to FCW after all, eh Serena? Good for you!

And because I couldn’t say it any better myself, I’m officially using the quote facility on this thing. Take it away, baby:

“You don’t drink, you don’t do drugs, you don’t smoke. Ok. Neither do I. But then again I don’t look like I’ve  been on a week-long crack binge with Amy Winehouse. I’m just sayin’, have a little pride, man! Pick yourself up. Clean yourself off. Maybe take them clippers out of the bag, shave that squirrel off you got on your chin. Hey, do yourself a favour…. grab a shower. ‘Cause I don’t know if it’s you, Lobotomy Man or Britney Spears right there but one of you’s got a bad case of swamp-butt!”

(Paul Levesque, WWE Friday Night Smackdown, 2010)

Then Teddy Long came out and made some matches, the first of which was an awesome match between CM Punk and HHH. Nobody won because the two bald kids beat up on Triple H. Shawn tried to help but Punk held a female shield in front of him and all but licked her face.

Jericho and R-Truth had the second great match of the night, won by Truth. Is this why Jericho went out and got bombed, got himself arrested and had to be bailed out by CM Punk for $120? True story. If by ‘true story’ you mean ‘unclear internet rumours’.

Dave wore his favourite boujis, nouveau riche outfit.

FOOOORE!

John Morrison said some stuff but I can’t remember it. I spent my time wondering which products he uses to make his hair look that soft and silky. You think I’m joking. I’m not.

Morrison challenged Drew McIntyre for the ICT in the third brilliant match of the night. The belt-bling did not change hands.

This this happened……

….. and I punched Matt Striker in the face for having the worst fake laugh on the planet. SHUT. UP. OR. I’LL. FIRE. YO. ASS.

Most awesomest of all the awesome matches was Rey Mysterio vs Shawn Michaels. The best bit was when it was awesome. Which was all the way through. But again, nobody won, because Batista ran in (without his golf gear), speared Michaels and spinebusted Rey.

But hark, here comes THE GAME. He exchanged punches with Dave, I marked out for HHH as he rolled Dave over the top rope and the lights went down.

But hark again,  as if by magic or something…………

Then………

Hands up if you’re ready to Rumble! (Both my hands are up.)

Just one final plug. If you’re watching the Royal Rumble live, please join me + Adam & Matt of LOL, Wresslin’ here at Wrestlegasm.com or at LOL, Wresslin’ for our live Rumble blog. Should be loads of fun!

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