Well, first of all I wanted to say thanks for all the nice comments from people regarding last week’s blog (although I’m sure they were more from fear of Ray than any admiration for my “talent”). Here’s a second look at ECW, hopefully I won’t channel the Stone Roses and this won’t be my Second Coming…
ECW started this week with The Abraham Washington Show, with special guests Zack Ryder and Rosa Mendes. I’m pretty sure I made myself clear last week about my feelings for Messrs Washington and Ryder so I wasn’t expecting much from this segment. I just find it hard to take someone in a see-through cardigan seriously:
Washington, after his usual “run down the town you’re in” schtick, introduced Ryder & Mendes and asked about their relationship as “ECW’s It-Couple”, which gave Ryder the excuse to read a poem he’d penned especially for Rosa…
After this particularly prosaic piece of passionate poetry, Rosa Mendes read a poem she had written (the second half of which seemed to consist of lyrics from La Isla Bonita). What was Ryder’s response to her poem?
Now, I know that people sometimes criticise Vince McMahon for being slightly out of date when it comes to popular culture references, but the Tom Cruise thing was in May 2005, 4½ years ago… Surely there should be some kind of moratorium on parodies? On the bright side, as Zack Ryder has just attempted to humiliate the increasingly litigious man described as Scientology’s “second in command in all but name,” maybe he won’t be around much longer.
Backstage, and we find Ezekiel Jackson and William Regal apologising to each other about last week’s “misunderstanding” before being interrupted by Kozlov who refused to apologise and instead decided to stay mardy, despite Jackson and Kozlov having a tag match that night against Christian and Shelton Benjamin.
Regal was in action straight away following this, in a match against Goldust. Regardless of whether or not you buy into his flamboyant gimmick, Goldust is a big guy who’s always been a pretty good brawler – so I was expecting a good match from these two, and I got one. It was a very physical match, with Regal dominating until Ezekiel and Kozlov starting being silly and tried to see who could shout the loudest, most incomprehensible nonsense at each other. This distracted Regal, giving Goldust the opportunity to score with a schoolboy (if you’ll pardon the expression).
Backstage again, and now Paul Burchill and Katie Lea were pleading their case to Tiffany after Burchill lost to Hurricane last week. Tiffany was having none of it and Burchill was still out of a job. If only there was some way to get revenge on Hurricane with nobody knowing who you were:
After the sacked siblings left the office, two new guys appeared : Trent Beretta and Gaylen Croft.
After telling Tiffany she should get a wheelchair as they would make her look as smart as Stephen Hawking for signing them. They then went to the ring for a tag match with Bobby Shields and Tyler Hilton. Wrestling is often, unfortunately, quite predictable; so why not play along at home?
A tag match, featuring two teams of unknowns (unless you’re an avid fan of FCW). Beretta and Croft get a promo segment in the General Manager’s office, and a theme tune and entrance with introduction. Shields and Hilton are already in the ring. Who’s going to win?
Backstage again now for a couple of segments. First up is Vance Archer being interviewed by Savannah. God, this guy’s dull. He’s even trying to curry favour with my boss by growing a short beard. I don’t want to speak for Ray, but I’m guessing that CM Punk’s place in her heart is under greater threat from Dolph Ziggler than you…
After this, we cut to Shelton Benjamin backstage playing Smackdown vs Raw 2009 on his Xbox 360. Christian came in and after a bit of chat about their match at TLC (Which I’m really looking forward to. Join me at www.twitter.com/apsouthern for random live-tweeting rubbish during the show – unless I fall asleep) Christian leaned over and switched off the console. I love my 360 as much as is legally possible, but even I will happily admit that they have a famously erratic hardware failure rate; so you don’t mess with another man’s console Christian. Also of note; Shelton Benjamin is apparently a fan of hair mousse, and could possibly star in a future episode of Crotch Watch:
Main Event time, and this was the promised match between Ezekiel/Jackson and Shelton/Christian. Unfortunately this wasn’t as good as it could have been, although I may have just been a bit annoyed as Regal had his t-shirt tucked into his trunks again. Eventually, after a blind tag by Kozlov, Jackson left the ring and walked off in a huff – leaving Benjamin to pin Kozlov for the win. Despite that rather disappointing match, I can at least offer you a Favourite Crowd Member of the Week again. This time we have a Jeff Hardy fan that has, presumably, travelled through time from a period where Hardy was still employed.