the dean’s office is open

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I was tempted to make Matt Striker the patron saint of Wrestlegasm.Com. Not being affiliated with any particular religion myself, that’s not going to work. But I have decided that Wrestlegasm.Com needs some kind of mentor. A beacon of light to guide the poetic way, if you will.

For that reason I am hiring Matt Striker as the Honourary Dean of Wrestlegasm.Com. For legal and taxation purposes I am obliged to inform you that I haven’t actually hired Matt Striker and that he is unaware of this honour.  Right, now down to some reasoning.

“Why Matt Striker?” I hear you cry. “Isn’t he just the ECW colour commentator who stands in for the veteran broadcasters when they become ill or find themselves kicked in the head or whatever?” Well, when you put it like that, yes.  But he’s so much more than that. Allow me to elaborate on why Matt Striker and I should be BFFs.

  • This may be a wrestling blog, but what it really happens to be is an ode to popular culture. I am obsessed by popular culture. Professional wrestling may make up the bulk of the content, but the glue that holds all those wrestle pieces together is made up of song lyrics, movie references, characters from popular literature  and obscure television moments.  Matt Striker’s commentary is littered with all these things and I take great pleasure in spotting each one. I especially enjoy his musical references.  See? We do the same thing. He’s just paid a lot of money to appear on television and travel the world talking about wrestling and dropping Janet Jackson song titles in when nobody’s looking. I sit in my living room in front of the television while blogging about wrestling and dropping Mike Skinner lyrics into my blog. One of my best moments was when I applied lyrics from Fit But You Know It by The Streets to a Drew McIntyre and Mike Knox picture and a Canadian spotted it.  I didn’t know Canadians liked The Streets!

It was awesome. I’m sure Matt Striker felt exactly the same way when he referenced various Morrissey/The Smiths song titles in some recent  PPV commentary. Although, his audience is a tad larger than mine, so he had more chance of them being picked up.

  • Alliteration. You may have noticed that I use a lot of it. In fact, it was poked fun at in LOL, Wresslin’s epic ego crushing guest post. Alliteration is my deliberate attempt at making a violent and aggressive sport seem like a pretty piece of poetry. See what I did there? Striker loves his alliteration too. Though, he does it far more successfully than I do. When I hear him call Mickie James “the dangerously adorable Diva” my heart sings.

That’s the thing I love about Striker above all else; his use of words. In an interview with Marvel.com in the early part of this year, he said:

“Ah, the perfect word! So elusive yet so rewarding when used properly,” praises Striker. “I have words and phrases that I almost immediately associate with a Superstar. ‘Serpentine’ is great for the Boogeyman, whereas, poetic license allows me to use ‘Working Class Hero’ for Tommy Dreamer—and again, these words and phrases just fit. I am fortunate that I have the vocabulary at my disposal but there are also times when ‘mean’ works just as well as ‘ornery’ or ‘belligerent.'”

You can read the full interview by clicking here. Even I found it interesting and I know very little about comics.

  • He’s made mistakes and has upset a few people. Haven’t we all? I mean, you wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve put my foot in my mouth. I’m getting better as I get older, but still, I’ve had my moments.  And you also wouldn’t believe the number of mean jokes I type only to backspace them away again. My bad-taste barometer is functioning a little better as I go along. Matt’s barometer hasn’t always been bang-on. The Steve Irwin comment comes up a lot. Ouch. But people with flaws are endearing, right? Well, that’s what gets me through the day anyway.

Look, I don’t agree with his general political stance or with his religious beliefs, but I don’t   have to. I don’t agree with the politics of some of the people closest to me.  It  doesn’t make me love them any less. I’m a proud liberal. We could have some interesting debates. Particularly concerning Matt’s views on flaunting sexuality. You work in wrestling and you find overt sexuality offensive? Really? We need to discuss. He’s an intriguing character and I enjoy the way he uses language, so he  gets to (faux) oversee proceedings on this website.

  • We both came from the education sector. Correction: I still come from the education sector. He happened to leave for the sake of wrestling. Further correction: Matt was in a position where he didn’t have much choice but to leave. But who knows how true that is? It’s on Wikipedia.
  • He’s overcome some big-time personal embarrassment, made all the worse by previous statements about the importance of proper ‘family values’. That kind of major scale embarrassment has never happened to me, but if it did I like to think I would summon up some of Matt’s resolve. Stuff happens, the world gets over it. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, see here.

So this has been just a brief explanation of why Matt Striker is Wrestlegasm.Com’s Honourary Dean. How long will he remain the Dean? Probably until he says or does something that gets him fired or that deeply offends me. I’ll weep for a week and will then be forced to hold interviews for a new Dean. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen. But while Dean Striker is in post, I shall look to him for inspiration when I’ve got blogger’s block and am wrestling with whether anyone will spot the bizarre Doors lyric I’m photoshopping into a John Morrison picture. Welcome back to the Cardiff Wrestle Bunker, Dean. Your office is just down the hall from mine. Milk and sugar in your tea?

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “the dean’s office is open

  1. I think you should show up outside his house in a tank with a boombox and a banner, blaring Back For Good… I think that might bring officially bring him into the fold.

    • But that suggests he wouldn’t want to join me in the Cardiff Wrestle Bunker! Also, if he’s not a fan of Spaced, it’s highly probable he’d have me arrested and miss the joke. 😉

  2. Let me see if I can do my Matt Striker impression:

    “Floating through the azure skies of WRESTLEGASM.com, I am both elated and jubilant to be named the Honorary Dean. Many members of the WWE Universe may not be aware, but Ray’s fourth cousin (twice removed) was on a cricket team with a boy whose sister tried out for the wrestling team that Beth Phoenix captained in high school. It’s a grudge that’s been held for the better part of a decade and will finally come to head tonight on Smackdown!

    Oh and Democrats are lame.”

    More great stuff, Ray… I need more lighthearted fun like this over at Kick-Out!!

    • Matt Striker?!?!? Is that you posting a comment under the guise of Razor? No need to hide yourself. Come forward and use your own name! 🙂

      Thanks, Razor. And don’t change what you do at Kick-Out!! I need great people like you to balance this nonsense out!

  3. Pingback: HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY TO US! « WRESTLEGASM.COM

Comments are closed.