The first post-PPV Smackdown started with Theodore Long, Bragging about how Smackdown had dominated the Pay Per View. It was his Right to do so. Bursting with Smackdown pride, Teddy launched into a speech about how he planned on giving the Big Show a shot at the World Heavyweight title. What? Because he took the bullet for his supposed rival team? Pffffttt. Chris Jericho took umbrage with this decision, but he challenged it a little more poetically than I did.
But then Kane took umbrage with Jericho’s claims and decided that he deserved a title shot instead. This is getting messy. I can feel a scrap coming on. Why talk things over like mature adults when you can beat each other up?
Teddy pacified the two former co-captains by making the title match at triple threat. Kane and Jericho would fight each other that night for the third spot in the match. Sounds like a plan. Good work, Teddy. That’s why you’re Vince’s bitch the boss.
Next we had a John Morrison vs Dolph Ziggler match. Ahhhh, nice to see my Zig back. I missed him so at Bragging Rights. Although, I really wish he’d keep his mouth shut. He came out, blistered John Morrison for losing to The Miz, claiming that everyone else (including him) played their part in making Smackdown the 2009 Bragging Rights champions. Having been ousted from Team Smackdown the previous week, Dolph really played no part in their success. John Morrison suggested that Dolph’s pride in winning the big trophy was a little premature….. similar to the rumours Maria had been spreading in the back about Dolph’s other shiny trophy.
So they had an awesome match, which was punctuated by Matt Striker’s brilliant commentary. If I can’t listen to JR, bring Striker in. Not only does he share my love of throwing song titles and lyrics into his commentary at inappropriate moments (this week it was Janet Jackson), but he also comes out with amazing random facts. I’m considering making Matt Striker Patron Saint of Wrestlegasm.com. After all, I still get a fair amount of web traffic from people looking for the pictures he took of his trophy. I fear the Catholic Church may object to this, so I’ll remain saintless. For now.
After bigging up Dolph Ziggler’s collegiate accomplishments, Striker went on to say “…and he has GREAT abs.” , I bloody love you, Striker. Come join me in my Cardiff wrestle bunker. We’ll count wrestlers’ abdominal muscles, listen to awesome tunes and figure out how to squeeze more references to The Smiths into your commentary. Todd Grisham was feeling upstaged, so he scoffed at Striker’s topic of discussion, then gave in to it by reminding us that John Morrison is the Ambassador of Abdominals. Easy, fellas. No need to squabble. Let’s aaaaall of us just enjoy the abs.
Back to the match! Ziggler did this……..
….. and smashed Morrison into the announce table. Dolph scrambled his way back into the ring and left the one with the prettiest hair in the land to be counted out. I expect this to lead to Ziggler getting a title shot, because there’s too much comedy mileage left in these two. Make it happen. Thanks.
Teddy Long’s office is a monument to product placement. I mean, just look. Four separate WWE Retail products in one shot. Bravo!
Now, this scene was all about CM Punk complaining about not having the opportunity of a rematch against The Undertaker. Naturally, Teddy was not inclined to succumb to this as he had already set-up the triple threat. Vince showed up and it appeared that, as usual, he would assert his authority and override Mr. Long’s decisions. Not this time. But he did feel that Punk had some unfinished business to attend to and gave him a match against that downtrodden referee, Scott Armstrong. REALLY!
Next, Beth Phoenix was taking on…………….
As this was Beth’s first match on Smackdown since the mini-draft a couple of weeks ago, it appeared we needed a reminder of just how immensely powerful she is. I couldn’t see the point of it myself. We know who Beth is and what she can do. I would like to have seen a new feud starting. But whatever. She won. She’s big and strong. We get it. Storyline now please.
Apparently, it’s Halloween weekend. I wouldn’t really know. The British generally shun Halloween as it tends to be an excuse for delinquent youths to throw eggs and flour at people’s cars. And it’s an American holiday. Boo! America. Sad. Because, having twice experienced Halloween in America it really could be a whole pumpkin full of fun. Alas, it is not to be. But I’ve got a large bag of Cadbury’s Caramel Minis in the porch if any brave kids decide to knock on the door. If none of them come, I’ll eat them all myself. Just as soon as I get my appetite back from this annoying bug. Yeah yeah, poor me, I know.
Vickie Guerrero was in the Halloween spirit and dressed up like a princess. I know I said last week that she was in need of a little nip-in-at-waist tailoring, but going for full whale-bone corsetry was a little extreme, Vicks.
Anyway, she introduced her beau, Eric Escobar and…..urgh isn’t he the most boring guy on the roster at the moment? Yawn. Just bring Matt Hardy out so I can complain about his baggy, cornflower-blue tights. Actually, the whole thing was kind of dull, so just know that Matt Hardy won, Vickie screeched and Escobar…. well …… did nothing.
So if you listened to my podcast (or watched Bragging Rights) you’ll know that Dave Batista turned heel on his familia, Rey Mysterio. Poor little dude. 😦 Confession: I actually said a little more about that on the podcast but due to my horrible editing skills I managed to delete what I said without being able to get it back. Broadcasting = trauma.
Rey was all dressed in black to represent his melancholy and he wanted an explanation. Yeah, Dave. Why you do wha’ you do, huh? Before Dave comes out, let me just say……
Dave came out dressed in black to represent his badass-ness and told Rey to go away. No dice. Rey wanted to talk it out. And you know Rey was serious because he said ‘dawg’ and ‘homie’ a LOT. Dave wasn’t interested and told him once again to leave. Rey thought about it, but still he refused to disappear. You’ve got to admire his pluck. Rey tried his best, but Dave was all closed off emotionally. He didn’t even flinch when Rey brought up Eddie Guerrero.
Rey stood his ground, Dave got bored and then left to booing and hissing from the crowd. Heel turn complete.
And just to rub a little extra heel-juice into the wound, Dave attacked Matt Hardy while he was making a phone call, after Matt had tried to talk some sense into Dave.
Back in the arena, it was time for everyone’s favourite Scot, Drew McIntyre, to face everyone’s favourite Northern Irishman, Finlay. I am LOVING how Drew’s outfit is developing. Week-by-week the wardrobe department bedazzle him just that little bit more.
You’d think that Finlay and Drew would be pals. One from Antrim, the other from Ayrshire, they’re practically neighbours! But this is wrestling and they’re on opposite sides of the fence, so they must fight. As is becoming the norm for a Drew McIntyre match, it began and ended swiftly outside the ring. Come on now, Drew. Nobody’s going to respect you if you can’t pull off a proper match. I can’t defend you forever.
Like I said, it’s Halloween, which means the Divas have to degrade themselves and parade around in their horrible costumes. Work those ankles for the boys, ladies. I won’t spend too much time on it. It went like this.
CM Punk had his match against referee Scott Armstrong. Armstrong was badly hurt. Punk found it hilarious.
Jericho and Kane had to fight it out for a spot in the triple threat match with Big Show and Undertaker at Survivor Series, and they did so in rather impressive fashion. Two very safe pairs of hands. And I honestly couldn’t decide which way this one would go. Triple H and Shawn Michaels have to scrap against each other and John Cena for the WWE title on the Raw side, so it made sense that Jericho and Big Show do the same with Taker’s title. But Kane and Taker have got heated history and that would pit three of the big men against each other. As it turned out, they went with Jericho to keep the two brands even. Well what else was Jericho going to do for the next few weeks? Be Show’s cheerleader? Actually, I’d kind of like to see Jericho shimmying with some pom-poms.