summerslam predictions – wrestlegasm style

Everyone else with a wrestling blog has been busy making their Summerslam predictions. Yeah, well, you won’t get any from me. Mainly because I’m too lazy to anticipate what I’ll have seen within a few hours anyway. So, all you’re getting is my itenerary for the next 10 hours or so. How will you stand the excitement?

You know, North Americans don’t realise how lucky they are. They probably got up at a reasonable hour this morning. Had a leisurley lunch. Will get some buddies round for an evening of beer, chips-n-salsa and three hours of Summerslam goodness. Then you’ll probably go to bed at a decent time so you can go to work fully rested tomorrow. Lucky you!!!!

For those of living in a European timezone, things are a little different. Living in the future ain’t all moon shoes and space suits, ya know.

Modern day Europeans

Modern day Europeans

I usually watch PPVs on the Monday after they take place, rushing home from work to start watching asap after 5pm. But for Wrestlemania and Summerslam (and the Superbowl, for that matter), I book a day off work so I can stay up all night and watch live. That’s dedication to the cause, people. Praise me!

Excited as I am for tonight’s Summerslam, watching American sports through the night makes me a little bit sad, because I know if I was with all my pals in the USofA I could be downing bottles of Newcastle Brown with Chivas Regal chasers at their party (which is really taking place tonight) and cheering for all the top notch wrestle action with them. I will be waiting tonight’s event on my own. Oh woe is me!

To make the best of this unfortunate circumstance, I have developed tactics to make this a less depressing experience. I’d never make it through to the end without a nap, which I need to start thinking about pretty soon. Tonight I’m in particular trouble because we’re doing our NFL fantasy football draft tonight. As I previously mentioned, I cannot be there, so I shall be picking my team via satellite hook up (skype) like those super V.I.Ps who accept Grammy awards via video link up because they’re doing something way too important to be there in person. I’d let the boys pick my team for me but in fantasy football, you can trust nobody, so I insist on drafting my own team. will be sponsoring my team so you’ll be hearing about that soon. Yes, I’m sponsoring myself. Shut up. It makes perfect sense.

The other thing I do to get me through to the end of the event, is avoid alcohol and replace it with tea and cake. Drinking alone never ends well, but I can drink copious amounts of tea and eat sponge cake til I can’t swallow another crumb, so it works perfectly.  How does this fit in with ‘Diva by Xmas’ you say? It doesn’t. In fact, it knocks ‘Diva by Xmas’ on its arse. I don’t care. For tonight, anyway. If you were around when I gave birth to this blog, first of all, thanks for holding my hand through the painful delivery and thanks for sticking around over the past four months. Your stamina is admirable. But you may also remember that I spent Wrestlemania Sunday lovingly baking and icing these by hand.


This was a particular triumph for me. I can cook a meal like a pro chef but baking is my achiles heel. Notice my Undertaker 16-1 prediction cupcake? Another reason why I avoid predicitons. They’re always wrong. I had planned on doing some Summerslam cupcakes but as I only have 1/3 of a kitchen at the moment (don’t ask) my plan was to have a cake printed at ASDA using their cool edible icing machine. The bakery lady informed me over the telephone that copyrighted material was not allowed to be made in to icing (damn!) so I would have to come up with my own design. I poured over photoshop creating this…………


…….and took it along to ASDA yesterday to get my £8.89 cake printed. I stepped up to the cake scanner, all excited like, only to be told that the machine was broken and the engineer had to travel from Ireland to fix it. What? Ireland???? In short, no Summerslam cake. I was left to buy a delicious but un-Summerslammy victoria sponge. My real cake might have looked something like this……..


My other tradition is to buy a new pair of pajamas for these occassions. I may not have mentioned this before, but I am more than mildly obsessed by nightwear. To steal and adapt a line from George Costanza, “I would wear velvet pajamas every day if it were socially acceptable.” I also keep myself awake by giving myself facials, manicures and pedicures. Tres girly!

So, everything is just about ready. Got my fancy Chinese teapot received as a birthday gift……..


Got my John Cena mug ready to receive said tea from above Chinese teapot……..


Got my new green cami & PJ bottoms, and far too many bottles of nail polish lined up. I’ve also got my John Cena pillow pre-fluffed. I do actually own this, but I’m too embarrassed to take a picture of it. Right, so I have to go now and scope out some running backs and tight ends before a quick nap.

See you on the other side, folks!


7 thoughts on “summerslam predictions – wrestlegasm style

  1. “I know if I was with all my pals in the USofA I could be downing bottles of Newcastle Brown”

    Funny, that’s most likely what I’ll be drinking this evening… while cheering on CM Punk.

    • Way to rub salt in the wound there, Raze! 🙂 Make sure you have a couple of extra bottles on my behalf. The American Newkie Brown bottles are tiny compared to ours anyway. I’m sure you can manage a few more! 😉

  2. Have fun! 🙂 I hope the cake tastes good. It surely does look tasty! Which reminds me of baking some muffins or cookies tomorrow…
    And now I have to avoid every WWE news site and wait for the 720p version to come out to download it and then… finally… watch it! 😀 Randy vs John, if you are not good I’m going to kick something… or somebody very, very hard. Ò_ó
    Go, Randy! Be a man and defend your title on your own…

  3. I love the idea of someone having to come from Ireland to fix the cake machine. Tell him to bring some new music for Finlay and your mom while he’s at it.

  4. Well done for staying up; I only got to about twenty past one before I had to go to bed before I passed out :S
    I should definitely make some cakes for the next big PPV. Our Wrestlemania party was sadly lacking in cake, though we did have doritos, they’re just not the same 😦

    PS had more dreams! 😀

    • I’m very proud of those cakes.They took most of the day to ice. And damn you for your wealth of wrestling dreams. Not fair! 🙂

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