smackdown(lite): fear paralysis reflex

Pushed for time for the Smackdown recap, so it’ll have to be highlights only. Which is a shame, because for the first time ever I watched Smackdown with my mother this week. Her commentary was so brilliantly out of the wrestling loop,  it amazed me that anyone could know so little about wrestling. Unfortunately, she wasn’t impressed and never wants to see it again, so my plans to give her a regular feature are gone. 😦 You can go back through my Twitter if you want to read some of her Smackdown pearls of wisdom.

The Highlights

Rey Mysterio and Cryme Tyme teamed up against Jericho, Big Show and Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler took the win for the bad guys when he pinned Rey.

I crack myself up. But nobody else.

I crack myself up. Nobody else. Just myself.

Matt Hardy officially put the stamp on his return to the ring with an interview with Josh Matthews. I am thrilled to announce that both Josh and Matt now seem to have fixed their face paint troubles. The conversation with my mother during this interview went something like…….

At least she realises it is actually acting.

At least she realises it is actually acting.

Next Kane and Khali…..oh wait……I said ‘highlights’……..let’s move on.

Mike Knox took his creepiness to a whole new level by donning a pair of lens-less glasses and speaking the words ‘fear paralysis reflex’ so spookily that my body went in to fear paralysis reflex.

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By the way, my mother doesn’t think Finlay’s titantron music is very Irish sounding. (?)

Jeff Hardy climbed a ladder, whipped the crowd in to a frenzy and cued Punk’s entry in to the arena. They had a pretty cool verbal tussle which ended with CM Punk pushing Jeff off the ladder while holding it carefully so he doesn’t get badly hurt. See? They really do like each other. I’d like to take this opportunity to quash the rumours that the bags under Punk’s eyes are directly linked to the genuine insomnia I experienced this week.  We did not keep each other awake. Although, it’s possible he may have started dreaming about me doing his laundry.


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Jeff's tired too. But he's just hung over.

Jeff's tired too. Or possibly just hung over.

Maria finally got back in the ring, tag-teaming with Melina against Layla and Natalya. Michelle McCool had the bare faced cheek to criticise what Maria was wearing when she herself was wearing ripped white jeans and a top fashioned from duct-tape and rhinestones.

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The match was impossibly short. Grrrr.

CM Punk joined The Hart Dynasty to go up against John Morrison and The Hardys in a match I’ll just call Team Pink vs Team Purple. They actually took me up on my offer to join Team Purple to balance out the male/female numbers, as presented in last week’s Smackdown recap. But unfortunately I was busy breaking high school kids’ hearts this week (I really was) so I couldn’t make it.  Team purple won.

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Onwards and upwards, kids. Third post of the day on the way.

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4 thoughts on “smackdown(lite): fear paralysis reflex

  1. Still terribly disappointed that there won’t be a Mothergasm (oh god that sounds terrible) feature.

    I don’t know about it being Irish enough, but she does make a good point about Finlay’s music. First of all it sucks. Secondly, it’s Hornswoggle’s. Why are they using the same music when they’ve been split up? Bring back the old scary heel Finlay music, not the stuff that makes me think he’s about to start dancing any moment.

  2. Never say Mothergasm again. It’s just wrong! :S

    Finaly’s music is pretty awful, and he needs new music. But you can’t deny that it does sound Irish. My favourite comment was probably when she asked why John Cena had to shout. Lost cause!

    • Don’t be downhearted! My mum wouldn’t know a decent wrestling promo if it came up and bit her on the bum. Matt is indeed a lovely boy.

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