survivor series 2010: the predictions

 

 

In a bold and visionary move (and not in any way just vaguely plagiarised from Razor over at Kick-Out) we have decided to start posting our predictions before each PPV. This way you can all see just how incredibly perceptive and intelligent we are when it comes to blindly guessing the results of a pre-scripted event. Of course, chances are we’ll both do really badly and you’ll lose all the respect (hah!) and credibility (hah again!) that we have built up over the last year and a bit.

Anyway, this is a pretty simple post. We’ll waffle on a bit about each match and then make a prediction at the end. Hopefully some of you will be interested enough to leave your predictions in the comments section – we’d love to know how the Wrestlegasm readers think some of the matches will go.

DISCLAIMER: Neither of us have watched Raw in its entirety for a few weeks now, and we are writing this before Smackdown has aired. So if anything really obvious happens on SD that would affect our predictions then, to paraphrase the much missed Snitsky, “it wasn’t our fault”.

No of course we don't. You were just a cheap throwaway joke. Sorry

OK, on with the predictions, starting with…

Andrew: As you may be aware (especially if you read this last week) I don’t watch Raw, so I’m not 100% sure how accurate any of my predictions for their matches will be. Having said that, this Nexus/Cena storyline has been going on long enough that even I have a rough idea what’s going on. I would be surprised if Barrett doesn’t win on Sunday, giving Cena chance to escape Nexus and start on the road to beating Barrett for the title further down the road. Whether Cena will help Barrett to win or not, I’m not sure. But I can definitely see our favourite Preston wrestler looking incredibly smug on Raw with the belt draped over his shoulder.
WINNER: WADE BARRETT

Ray: Picture the scene. Wade Barrett sits alone in a dark, empty room. The shadows from his broken nose switch from one side to another as a solitary light bulb hangs perilously above his head. He wrings his hands together as he tells you you’re too simple to understand the might of the Nexus. Well not me, Wade. I am not too simple to understand that you wouldn’t be the only person in the promo video if they weren’t going to make a star of you at Survivor Series. Also, I feel somewhat obliged to tip Wade. Anything else would feel like going to an international sporting event and singing the other team’s national anthem. Predict from the heart!
WINNER: WADE BARRETT

Andrew: I’ve a feeling this one will also be a title change, with Edge getting the win, the belt and his awesome God-pyro back. I’m expecting some kind of Undertaker/Paul Bearer/Urn-related shenanigans to be involved, with the “Ultimate Opportunist” taking advantage for a cheap win.
WINNER: EDGE

Ray: Let’s face it, Kane was only ever made champion to facilitate the whole ‘who beat my brother into a coma?’ thing. And then the ‘let’s bring Paul Bearer back for old time’s sake’ thing. Followed swiftly by the ‘let’s bury the Undertaker alive in a grave made of polystyrene and resin’ thing. It was never about Kane being a fabulous champion. Time to lay this story to rest (sorry) and move on.
WINNER: EDGE

Andrew: Much as we both love Alberto Del Rio here in The Bunker, I’m sensing a Team Mysterio win after Del Rio walks out on his team (again!) leaving them to take the loss against Rey and Big Show. Plus Mysterio’s name is (kind of) mentioned in the title of our favourite Simpsons episode, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.
WINNER: TEAM MYSTERIO

Ray: I feel I may regret this one. Andrew makes a good point. But I’m under the Del Rio spell. Despite logic, every time those trumpets pipe up and he blasts the horn of his Rolls with all the arrogance of aristocracy, I’m won over. I’m even convinced he may be angling for an invite to Will and Kate’s marital toff-fest next year.
WINNER: TEAM DEL RIO

Andrew: While I find it very hard to get excited (or even interested) in this match, I’m going to predict some kind of mass Nexus interference leading to a DQ victory for Santino & Kozlov. Barrett, Slater & Gabriel celebrating on Monday’s Raw with all three belts seems like too good an image to ignore – even if they will then be attacked and chased off by Cena…
WINNER: KOZLOV & SANTINO

Ray: Easily the least interesting match of the night. It seems fitting that if I have Barrett winning, I should make it a clean sweep for the boys in black and yellow. I think Sheamus will interfere somehow, leading me nicely to my prediction for the final match in the list (Sheamus/Morrison). Cor, it’s like it’s all been worked out in advance or something.
WINNER: NEXUS

Andrew: First prediction is that this should be match of the night. Kaval is obviously a great wrestler, and Ziggler has repaid the affection that Ray and myself have paid him by having consistently enjoyable matches including his recent run against Daniel Bryan. Having said that, I’m picking Kaval for this one. Ray mentioned that she always makes her predictions from her heart, and I would love for Kaval to start a title unification feud against Bryan
WINNER: KAVAL

Ray: There I was saying that I always make my predictions from the heart and here I am doing the opposite. Much as I would love to see Kaval win, I’m not sure they’re quite ready to give him that push or move Ziggler in another direction. I think there might be a bit of juice left in that love triangle nonsense yet. But psssst! Kaval! If you prove me wrong, I’ll secretly be quite pleased.
WINNER: ZIGGLER

Andrew: Going from the heart is trickier in this one as we’re both fans of LayCool and Natalya. Having said that, Layla is a surprisingly good wrestler when she’s given chance, and I’d be happy for LayCool to split up now (especially if McCool having to skip the recent European tour to look after her husband are true and she needs take more time off.) I’m hoping for Natalya to win this one, then feud with Layla for a while until Beth Phoenix comes back. Then I can sit and mark out as Natalya and Beth feud for the title… well, a man can dream can’t he?
WINNER: NATALYA

Ray: I just want Beth Phoenix to come back. OK, I don’t just want that, but it’s started to feel like everything in the Smackdown women’s division is waiting with bated breath for the Glamazon to storm in and take everyone out. I do think it might soon be time for Layla and Michelle to part ways, but not before Ms. Phoenix comes back to buddy-up with Natalya. Then again, maybe that will happen at Survivor Series. Queen of wishful thinking.
WINNER: LAYCOOL

Andrew: Yeah, I’ve no idea what this is all about. Hang on a sec, I’ll just check wwe.com… What? They’re fighting over Santino! Why are they… but… Santino has Kozlov on his team! Why would he need John Morrison? Meh…
WINNER: MORRISON

Ray: Sheamus is just hanging around waiting for Triple H to come back and take his revenge for ousting him all those months ago. John Morrison is just, well, hanging around. So why not let them have a little match over a pretend Italian man to keep themselves amused while waiting for something better to come along. A bit like the way firefighters play poker in between fires.
WINNER: MORRISON

Right, that’s what we think. What about you lot? We like to think that Wrestlegasm reader’s are smarter (and smarter) than the normal wrestling fan, so if you get a couple of minutes feel free to let us know your predictions in the comments below and we’ll mention the closest results on the blog.


nxt: an open reply to a loyal reader

Did you watch NXT last week? Yeah, pretty uneventful really wasn’t it? A quiz show followed by an interminably dull match between “Dashing” Cody Rhodes and MVP. While I’m a fan of Cody, MVP has done nothing of interest since his feud with He Who Must Not Be Named and just drains any interest I have in any segment he might be involved in. As such their isn’t really going to be a recap this week. I know, I know… I can hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth from here.

Oh grow up...

As it happens, this series I haven’t really done much in the way of actual recaps; partly because of real life time constraints and partly because it’s just not been as eventful as the first series. Last week, for example, I bodged together a Jackie-style photostory about Layla and Kaval, which led to a comment from one of our regular readers:

Now, everyone is entitled to their opinion of course – this is the internet after all, a forum where even Matt Hardy is given a platform to speak whatever indecipherable inanity crosses his mind between sessions stuffing his face with pizza. As such I would like to point out before I start that this is no way meant as a slight against Roler42, who as I mentioned is a regular reader and commenter.

Arguing against the use of the word “wreckage” to describe this series of NXT is a slightly untenable position given that the WWE seem to have struggled to learn from the lessons they could have learnt from the first series, both “in-universe” and in real life. The whole justification for the Nexus’ actions over the last couple of months has been their shoddy treatment at the hands of WWE management – the obstacle courses… the improvised challenges… all things that have been reiterated this time round.

In fact, if anything, the Rookies this series have been treated even worse as some kind of pre-emptive punishment. Think back to the first episode, which culminated with the Pros jumping the Rookies and beating them in what Striker described as an “official welcome to NXT.” Since then, there have been unprovoked attacks by Pros on Rookies; a reintroduction of the ridiculous challenges, including the new “Kissing Competition”; and the same combination of random eliminations and rule changes at a moment’s notice. Surely this should lead the Rookies to form Nexus II or D-Generation NXT or NXT World Order or whatever?

OK, maybe that wouldn't work...

However, while there is an argument to be made that you could possibly disparage this season of NXT as a “wreckage” - the idea that LayCool could “almost […] look like the best pros” seems to intimate that they are in fact, not the best Pros. Now, I was concerned when this pairing was first announced like most people. I was a fan of Kaval’s from his days wrestling in the indies, and I truthfully couldn’t abide Michelle McCool after the Mickie James/Beth Phoenix storylines.  But both she and Layla have grown on me to such an extent that I genuinely don’t want them to break up the trio, even after tonight’s final. As such, I would posit that Laycool are indeed the best Pros on this series of NXT.

As always with this bizarre concotion that is Professional Wrestling, there are two ways to look at their tenure as Pros: either in kayfabe or in shoot terms (As an aside, I really hate using those phrases…) The easiest way to discuss this is one at a time, so let’s start with:

The easiest part to justify. LayCool have been the most consistently entertaining Pros on this series. Their interactions both with Kaval and with the other Rookies and Pros have been genius in places, and their comic timing (especially in the case of Layla) has come on leaps and bounds over the last couple of months. From a team that were involved in pretty dreadful storylines previously, reliant on a kind of Mean Girls schtick to get over – they have become “self professed” Co-Women’s Champions and have actually made the title interesting for the first time in some time, all while managing to increase the profile of Kaval on both NXT and Smackdown. While Kaval was obviously the most experienced and talented wrestler amongst the Rookies, his size was always going to be a stumbling block in getting the average WWE fan to accept him as anything other than a “plucky underdog”. Having him accompanied by Layla & McCool… having their characters slowly turn from incomprehension and incredulity to a genuine affection… culminating in them even stepping up to Husky Harris on his behalf… these things all give the fans another reason to like Kaval.

Where to start? From episode one’s Pros on Rookies beatdown, initiated when Layla and Michelle slapping Kaval, through to the last episode with their obvious delight at their charge’s success in the Trivia Quiz, Laycool have proven themselves to be the Pros with the most interest in and affection for their Rookie. With the possible exception of “Dashing” Cody Rhodes and Husky Harris, nobody else in this series has shown even close to the amount of connection. Sure Kofi and Mark Henry have been quite friendly with their Rookies, but there hasn’t been the same interaction and “journey” as with LayCool and Kaval.

Being given a Rookie who was obviously a better wrestler than they ever would be, they concentrated on bringing out Kaval’s personality and moulding him into the kind of person that the WWE Universe could (and indeed has) rally behind. Making him a customised t-shirt to wear, to showing him the importance of a nice smile, to Layla’s interference at the Kissing Competition: they really have been the most supportive mentors this time round.

I don’t know what will happen in tonight’s final, whether Kaval will win or whether it will go to someone like Alex Riley who, quite frankly, needs the push more. I know who I want to win, and that’s due, in part at least, to the relationship with Layla and Michelle. And this is why I hope they keep Layla and Kaval involved in some manner after this week, even if LayCool break up at Night of Champions. While I’m never a huge fan of romance storylines in WWE programming, this is one that has the potential to be genuinely entertaining and even, dare I say, touching.

-

It was only when I started going back through all the shows from the past few months that I realised just how long it’s been since the last fashion post. And yes, I do go back through everything for these posts. Ded-i-ca-tion! Think about it…there’s been a major draft, some amazing PPVs, some of the roster were deported, and then they were allowed back in the country again. Some of the roster married each other, some big names have parted ways with the WWE (some voluntary, some by force), new stars have been made, new champions have been crowned (kind of), the first series of NXT finished, a new one began and the Nexus became part of the wrestling furniture. It would be impossible to run through every clothing related happening since Wrestlemania, but I’ll try to pick out some of the most memorable. You might need to go and get some tea and biscuits before you get stuck into this one. ‘Tis a long’un.

You better take a good look at that banner above the first paragraph, folks. Not only because we’re redesigning the site at the moment, but also because since I last did a fashion post, our favourite oiled fashion disaster has retired. Dave Batista, I miss you and your double-deni. Although, when I saw Big Dave covering up in a high-necked top and a cat-burglar hat a few weeks before he departed, I figured his time left with us was short.

The beginning of the end.

So, there’ll be no more near-naked Batista, sitting in the middle of the ring, sulking because things didn’t go his way. Let’s take a moment to remember…..

So what now for Dave? Rumour has it that he’s opened up an exclusive cocktail bar for select members of the community in Manhattan. I wish him all the very best.

Thanks, Adam.

As one veteran says goodbye, a new breed of superstars comes to the fore. Such is the circle of life. The Nexus may not have been around for long, but they feel like part of the family already. Look at them there in their cheapo t-shirts:

Their transformation from FCW wannabes to PPV hijackers was quite astonishing. Let’s take Justin Gabriel, for example. He was so cute before he turned bad. There he was with his dimply smile, ironed black hair and Matt Hardy inspired shirts.

Aww. Bless.

A couple of months, an evil streak later and……

Please note, as a face he wore white trunks and as a heel they’re black. Apparently, encasing your junk in white PVC means you’re angelic and wrapping it in black plastic makes you eeevil. Also the highlights and asymmetrical haircut. They’re eeevil too. Wade Barrett has only improved since winning NXT. He’s ditched the oversized winter coats and looks ever the illustrious leader:

It’s no wonder he beat David Otunga to the NXT trophy. Especially when Otunga decided to cover his head in stick-on plastic diamantes for the final show:

Dude! NO!

Otunga’s look hasn’t changed much since his rookie-hood, but Darren Young has had a major make-over. Personally, I’m not sure which is worse, so I’ll leave you to decide:

As for Heath Slater, he looked like a cock before he was on NXT, during and after.

Mmm. Ginger beard and girlie shades. Yum.

Our next batch of rookies don’t seem to display such extreme fashion guises. In fact, they’re fairly normal looking. Well, normal for wrestlers anyway. I mean, check out how miserable Kaval looks at having to wear his mentors’ home-made merchandise:

But don’t let grumpy-chops fool you. In his spare time, the man with the deepest voice I ever did hear likes to do a spot of catalogue modelling;

Look at all that smizing! Tyra would be so proud.

I’m sure his mentors would wholeheartedly approve. While we’re on the topic of LayCool, let’s have some REAL TALK.

Despite the fact that they appear dressed in increasingly elaborate self-branded outfits every week, not a single piece has appeared on WWEShop.com. Although, there is a youth Divas t-shirt available, so at least little girls have something to wear to cheer on the Divas now.

If WWE want to release some LayCool Flawless merchandise, I will most definitely buy it. Ms. McCool is now Mrs. Calaway, courtesy of her marriage to a certain Dead Man. And speaking of the Undertaker, you know you’re a wrestling fan when you watch the Eurovision Song Contest and assign wrestlers to the countries competing, based on their performance outfits. Clearly Taker’s a big hit in Eastern Europe.

Sing your hearts out, Ukraine and Albania!

Let’s move on. I just admitted to watching the Eurovision Song Contest. Quick! We need a more pleasant subject. Ah yes. CM Punk. Punk has gone through quite the transformation over the past few months. His once flowing locks were shorn in the name of defending the Straight Edge Society and I spent several weeks mourning the loss of his face.

Thankfully, just a couple of weeks ago the Big Show de-masked Mr. Punk and his face (plus shaven head) were visible again. Hooray!

It was rough, but we made it through and came out the other side stronger.

Going back to the ladies, my Maryse envy has been hitting new heights lately. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be her or anything, but let’s be honest, the girl fills her clothes rather beautifully. I’m not sure a halter-neck string bikini and a cropped lace top are quite suitable clothing for jiu-jitsu training. Eve has the edge in the practical clothing stakes.

But Maryse’s in-ring attire is always ace and this dress almost made me give up on life. I can’t compete with that.

But you never know, maybe I’ll go through some sort of image evolution one day and end up looking that glamorous. Bahahahaha! I couldn’t even keep a straight face typing that. Someone who did go through an image evolution though was Shad Gaspard. He ditched JTG and his urban streetwear to forge a solo career. All was looking trendy:

Until…….

Yawch! Matt Striker should have a word in his ear. That's not right.

You know, when Dave disappeared I worried that I’d have nobody to follow regarding hit-n-miss fashions. But I had not anticipated the wonder that is the cougar herself, Vickie Guerrero.

She started off in her blouse and ‘mum-jeans’, but her efforts to impress and keep up with the youthful Dolph Ziggler have been nothing if not brave. Check ‘em out:

Eeeeek! Wait. That last one was a bit dodgy. Tight dresses with zips right up the middle scream ‘street-walker’. Not even Kelly Kelly can pull that one off.

OK. Maybe Kelly.

But it’s OK, kids. In recent weeks Mrs. G’s cracked open the summer wardrobe and thrown on some rather flattering sundresses.

So all’s well that ends well. Even if she doesn’t look very happy about it. I love you, Vickie.

Sunshine seems to either bring out the best in our sense of dress or the worst. Just think of all those outfits you wear on your summer holiday that you wouldn’t dream of wearing back home. Drew McIntyre, I’m talking to you:

But I'll forgive you because you were just back from your honeymoon with Tiffany and you've had a rough time of things lately.

Sheamus could teach Drew a few things about dressing for an occasion. While stranded in Belfast as a result of the Icelandic volcanic ash, Sheamus strutted around in a mighty fine ensemble of muted colours and handpicked items. Ok, so the tie probably should be on top of the shirt, but still, he looks good, oui?

I should move on before that underlying Sheamus crush rears its ugly head. I fear that I’m a change of hair-do away from swooning for Sheamus. As Sidekick Andrew points out every time I mention it “It’s the voice, isn’t it?” Errrr, yah! Show me a girl who doesn’t love a boy with an Irish accent and I’ll show thee a liar! And while we’re on the subject of crushes I’d rather not admit to:

Yep! Zack Ryder. While he’s in his ring gear… nothing. Not even a tingle. But in his civilian clothing (as above)…. WOO WOO WOO! Although, my real reason for mentioning he of the glorious tan is to report that he’s FINALLY dropped the half-tighs/half trunks hybrid and gone for more standard trunks:

While the Long Island Iced-Z reveals a favourable increase in flesh, Cody Rhodes seems to be becoming even more naked, and it turns my stomach slightly. I mean, look….

eww

The lack of knee-pads doesn’t help and when he opts for his light-coloured boots, the boy looks practically naked. Enough. Get him some tights and a vest.

So there you have it. That’s your latest instalment of WWE clothing triumphs and disasters. I’ve learnt a few things from this trip down memory lane. I’ve learnt that I miss Beth Phoenix, Triple H and Mickie James a lot more than I thought I did, and I’ve discovered a few universal truths that will never change. I shall impart this wisdom forthwith. Never forget these important wrestling fashion rules:

  • Mark Henry in speedos is like a car-crash. You don’t want to look, but you just can’t stop yourself. You probably should look away though:
  • Jerry Lawler will always wear horrendous t-shirts:
  • Use somebody’s clothing as a weapon against them and you will be fired: