A Song For Whoever: Tough Enough edition

Boss Lady Ray: It was Andrew’s turn to do the Tough Enough write-up this past week, but unfortunately the Sidekick was feeling rather under the weather for most of the week. I’m not a cold-hearted boss, so I let him skip it. Just to be sure we’ve said goodbye to last week’s two eliminated contestants properly, this week’s Songs for Whoever are dedicated to Eric and Ivelisse.

Oh Eric. So much potential. Handsome, a striking look, tall, broad and a spark of something in his eye that suggested he could be amazing.  Yet Eric underperformed on almost every task because his fitness level was appalling. He practically walked the supposed run in the mountains, he collapsed during the obstacle course while trying to dart his way through the tyre run and the greatest humiliation of all came on last week’s episode. During the rope climb assault course thingy, not only did Christina walk all over Eric as he lie stretched out over several rope steps, be he eventually became so physically weak that Stone Cold Steve Austin had to send a rescue team in to lower him to the ground. It was both the funniest and the saddest thing I’d seen all series.

It was at this juncture in the series that the trainers decided that Eric’s time was up. The training sessions were getting harder and he was doing what he could, but Eric was starting from such low point on the fitness scale there was no way he was going to catch up. I don’t feel sorry for him. To rock up at such an incredible opportunity without having done a scrap of physical training is unforgivable. But seeing someone with potential waste their big chance is frustrating. I won’t kick a guy when he’s down. Come on, Eric. Get your chin up  (preferably over a chin-ups bar in the gym) and start all over again. I shall pass you over to Nat King Cole for the rest……

Sidekick Andrew: I’ll be honest, I never knew much about most of the competitors on Tough Enough before the show started (other than Matt Cross and, to a lesser extent, Christina.) Most of the wrestlers have had indie careers that have managed to completely bypass my attention – Ivelisse however is someone I head heard of but never actually seen wrestle.

Ivelisse had a moderately succesful career as Juliet the Huntress, in particular wrestling for the Puerto Rico promotion World Wrestling Council (run by Carlos Colon, father of Carlito & Primo.) As you can see from the video above, it’s hard to deny that of the women in Tough Enough she definitely has the most ability, and that she’s prepared to help the internet solve that pesky memetic conundrum regarding pirates and ninjas. Having said that, I’ve seen that red bandana/tube top look done before somewhere, and I’ll (predictably) always prefer Beth…

Unfortunately for Ivelisse, a simple in-ring mistake by Christina left her injured and, ultimately, unable to continue. In her exit video interview (viewable here) she was pretty blatant in blaming Christina for her elimination, wishing the coaches would see through Christina’s “bullshit” and do the right thing by getting rid of her. Having seen the way Christina has reacted to the injury, it’s hard not to take Ivelisse’s side in this and wonder how Christina has held on so long…

ah yes...

So this one’s for you Ivellise. Hopefully, if nothing else, your time on Tough Enough will have raised your profile enough to get you some more bookings in the future. Oh, and as I shamefully didn’t manage to shoehorn a Simpsons reference into this post, I’ll just point out that you don’t win friends with salad.